At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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