Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
