he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize