When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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