quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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