I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
