yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
