Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
