It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sorry about my life...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
