I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
