Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
