Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
