last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
