the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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