it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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