bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
