Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
