I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
