Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
