"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
