Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
