just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
