Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You pole danced in your parka.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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