I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize