super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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