So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i came on her dog
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize