I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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