How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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