it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
