So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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