HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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