barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
