Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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