I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
