I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
