I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
