If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
