Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
