You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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