What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
