That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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