I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
