honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
