It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
