i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
