She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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