Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
