youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
