Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
