david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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