Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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