My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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