i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize