I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
another moral hangover. fuck.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
