Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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