She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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