I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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