My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
