She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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