so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize